There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
