You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
