escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
