I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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