Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I have feelings that need drinking.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
His nipple licking is glorious
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