Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
