but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
