we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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