is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Randomize
