Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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