so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
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