Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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