i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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