Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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