Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
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