brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Randomize
