turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
