Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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