I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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