The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
