fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
