The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize
