her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
