My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
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