Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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