Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
