I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
