Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
