we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
