With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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