Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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