Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
