I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
