Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
