She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
