your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
So drunk its hurt
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I did not marry a roomba.
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