My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
so let's talk penis.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
