never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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