I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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