I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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