Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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