Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Houston, we have a squirter
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize