ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
