Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
