I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
