guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
