Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
