woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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