Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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