My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
