if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
