dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
