I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
