i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Randomize
