STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
