We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I lost the right to judge tonight
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
