I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
i think my cat just said my name.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
